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Digging a little deeper

Coping with change

17/10/2015

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Person leaping over a wooden fence to represent change
Wanting things to be different means making changes, which can be both exciting and at times scary.

Making learning and change adventurous is something Senninger (1) proposed in his article "Abenteuer leiten – in Abenteuern lernen," which roughly translates as "An Adventure Guide to Adventurous Learning."

His idea is often referred to as the learning zone model, and I was shown this model when I was a counselling student.

​As we sat round while our tutor drew three circles on the whiteboard, one of my colleagues remarked that it looked like a fried egg and ever since I have called it the "fried egg model of change". 

Getting in the right zone

Fried egg model of change
The egg also serves as a useful metaphor for looking at change.

The yolk of the egg is fairly cool, and it changes slowly. You can touch the yolk of a frying egg and it won’t burn, at least not to start with. Very little growth happens in the 
comfort zone.

Further out is the white, and it’s quite a bit hotter out here. The white changes quite quickly. This is the 
growth zone where most change happens.

​Further out is the frying pan. It’s very hot here, and if you touch it, you will burn your finger. This is the 
panic zone, and like your finger you will want to get out of here pretty quickly. The fried egg model suggests that the best place to be if you want to change is somewhere in between feeling safe and feeling panicky.

Why use heat as a metaphor for change?

In order to change you need to feel some stress. In this case heat is a metaphor for feeling some stress. Too little stress, and you will be unmotivated to change. Too much, and you will want to escape.

In this case, when talking about stress, I really mean, 
​ 
stress is the body's reaction to any change that requires an adjustment or response. The body reacts to these changes with physical, mental and emotional responses. Stress is a normal part of life.

source ​Boots WebMD (emphasis added)

An everday way people cope with change

Driving along a country lane is an everyday example of how people cope with change. We have to balance our need to be safe with our desire to get where we’re going in an ever changing environment.

Sometimes we might find ourselves stuck behind a slow moving vehicle. We’re going slowly and safely. We are definitely in the comfort zone - we are safe, but we are getting nowhere fast.

We might start to feel frustrated wanting to go faster and change up a gear. When we finally get past, and feel some excitement - we're on our way again!

Now on the open road, most people will find a point where if they go any faster, they will start to feel unsafe and become anxious. Without thinking we automatically adjust our pace to keep within this not too slow, not too fast zone.

​During the journey there are likely to be many repeats of this experience, as we speed up and slow down. 

Accelerating and braking in the counselling room

The model can be used as a gauge to work out the right pace for counselling. I will sometimes ask people where they are during a session to help make sure the session is not going too quickly pushing them into the panic zone, or too slowly pushing them into the comfort zone where not much is happening.

Like the driving example, if you spend too much time in the comfort zone, you might experience feelings of frustation that the counselling is not working. You might need more challenge during the sessions.

Conversely if you are feeling panicky during the sessions then your sessions may need to be slowed down. Often this process is a bit like dipping your toe into water. You talk about your problem for a bit, then stop and wait until you feel calmer again, before dipping your toe back in the water again.

I often use this approach when people are talking about traumatic memories which helps prevent them being overwhelmed by feelings of panic.

​The bit in the middle, the 
growth zone, can be accompanied by feelings of excitement, elation, relief, and the light bulb moment. However, it is important to understand that this middle ground is not always free from anxiety, it is often mixed in with those other feelings. It is about ensuring that the feeling of anxiety stays manageable and doesn't take you into the panic zone.

To grow requires taking some risks, and anxiety is a helpful and healthy gauge for balancing between being safe and getting where you need to go.

References

(1) Senninger, T. (2000). Abenteuer leiten – in Abenteuern lernen. Münster/Germany: Ökotopia.

You can also download a shortened PDF of this article,
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I'm Mark, a Humanistic Counsellor.

“What’s one of those?” I hear you ask.

I have this fundamental belief we are all born with the potential for growth and the capacity to change. Sometimes along the way we can find ourselves stuck and can struggle to call on our own resources. 
​
​My goal is to seek the potential for growth, rather than trying to solve these problems directly. Once we discover our potential for growth, we also gain the capacity to solve our problems ourselves.

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